Here is my Non-Pinterest-Worthy moment (1/2 hour) for the day (so far):
20 minutes ago, I decided to haul out my 25-foot real pine garland from Costco. I had some vague idea, you see, that I would hang it over the cabinets framing our refrigerator. It looked so good in my head...the cherry-stained cabinets backed up by the lush green of the garland.
After I got the garland uncoiled, however, I realized that my spacial reasoning skills are sorely lacking. 25 feet was, shall we say, almost twice as long as what I had pictured. But I thought those cabinets were really tall and wide, so no big deal - I'd just drape it over. So I did (with great difficulty). And...WAY too long. That or those cabinets weren't nearly as tall and wide as I thought. Either way I have spacial reasoning issues, if such a thing as spacial reasoning even exists. See? More issues.
After struggling to get it back down and folded in half on the floor, I cut it into two pieces. Struggled to get it back up. Stepped back to critique. What had looked lush and green on the floor now looked like I'd taped together a bunch of Charlie Brown's Christmas trees and draped them rag-tag over my cabinets. Stems were sticking out all over the place and a whole branch was pretty much blocking the doorway out of the kitchen. For a fleeting moment, as I have a cold and was feeling much more like going to lie back down, I considered just leaving it that way. But I realized quickly that having to swat a pine branch out of the way every time I wanted a cup of tea would get old in a jiffy. So I sighed and dove back into the project.
"Well," I opined (See what I did there? O-PINE-d?? Sorry), "I guess it will have to go outside."
Long story short, I went outside and wrapped the banisters. Which I have never done before. About the time I was stepping back to realize that it looked...well...even worse than it had looked hanging over the refrigerator, a neighbor drove by. I quickly I assumed a highly critical posture, lest they should think I was actually pleased with this pathetic-looking endeavor. After they passed, I quickly ripped it down and went back inside, muttering things about well-that-didn't-go-well-but-it-smelled-so-nice-BUMMER-what-am-I-gonna-DO-with-this-thing...you know.
The garland...now garlands plural...it's back in its box for now. But at least my floor smells nice. It's completely covered in pine needles and broken off pieces of pine branches.
Oh, and my arms are covered in scratches.
Lesson learned: I bought a Charlie Brown garland. Didn't know they existed. But now I do. Don't do it again.
Next lesson: Garlands probably need to be tied down in several places if you're going to put them on a banister...to keep branches from sticking out and scratching houseguests on the way up your stairs. Just make a note of it and buy some wire next time, 'mkay?
Final lesson: When you are trying to choose between swinging a garland over your cabinets vs. going downstairs, fetching your Christmas carousel display, and plugging it into an outlet...go with the Christmas carousel. It sounds like more steps, but it's not. Really. Trust me on this one.
